Who am I?

The task is to write 10 statements beginning with 'I am'

I am a pharmacist
I am a mother/carer
I am a reiki practitioner
I am a role player
I am overweight
I am engaged to be married
I am a blogger
I am training for the Race for Life
I am a book lover
I am a wrestling fan


What is interesting is that I didn't even think to put I am a woman or I am 58. Does that mean those aspects of me are unimportant?

The first three statements were easy. After that it was a struggle to think of things to say. I define myself VERY much by what I do rather than who I am because I don't feel who I am matters. I am very much a caregiver and only value myself by service to others. I am ashamed of some of the things I am (overweight) and only reveal certain things about myself depending on who I am with. So I keep my reiki practitioner identity hidden from fellow pharmacists for fear of what they think.

I struggle to find positive things to say about myself - I have a very negative self image at times.

When my son was young I often described being a working mother as being a plate juggler trying to keep all the plates spinning. I often found this stressful. I can now see I was trying to keep too many different identities balanced and failing because I didn't always give enough time to each identity. I sometimes felt 'I' didn't exist at all. For balance in life you need to be clear about who you are - and honour all those things.

Roles and expectations

Pharmacist role. This is my most frequent role as it is the one I play at work and also on internet forums. I keep almost all of my private life hidden when I am at work . No-one I work with knows that much about me. My pharmacist role demands that I am rational and scientific. I have to dress and act in accordance with both my employers and the publics expectations of me. That means jeans and a T shirt are out even though that is the dress I adopt for comfort. Also the pharmacists prime role is to supply medicines, but I am happiest talking to people and advising them. I did once try for a prescribing role which I would have loved. I am currently trying to find work that gives me greater patient contact than I get at the moment. So this role constrains me. But my pharmacist role impinges on my social life as well. Some of my role player friends take a relaxed view about cannabis. I had to make it very clear that I don't care what they do in their own homes but they were NOT going to smoke it in my house because wasn't going to risk being struck off the register.


My second role as mother/carer affects every other part of my life. My relationship with my son (now grown up and left home) is now developing into more of a friendship than a mother son. But the caring instinct in me is strong. I cared for Steve's Grandmother (ex mother-in law) during the last couple of years of her life. I intermittently helped to care for my mother when she was ill. When I had to make a choice between working full time as a pharmacist or going part time to act as a carer, I went part time to make sure I had enough time to do everything and still have time for my family. My caring instinct is what took me in the direction of becoming a reiki practitioner. But this is a role I take out of choice - not because anyone expects me to. But it does mean there are times when people tend to take advantage of my good nature because I am known as a caring person